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THE EXPOSITOR.
you, he will now pick and fetch either of the three cards I choose.
In concluding this Letter, I would not forget to mention to you I intend to increase the cards to six. In the mean while, further information relative to his instruction will greatly oblige, and ever meet acknowledgment, from
Your sincere friend,
And very humble servant,
A. B.
LETTER VI.
[In answer.]
W. F. P. to A. B.
Sir,
I think your scholar makes astonishing progress. I almost feel afraid of your working him too hard, and fatiguing yourself. At this period you ought not to exceed three Lessons in a day : You must remember the old adage, “All work and no play, makes
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THE EXPOSITOR.
Jack a dull boy.” Should you, in your anxiety to make him become a proficient, give him too many Lessons a day, and by these means proceed faster than instinct has faculty to retain he will become tired and confused ; and, in endeavouring to learn the last Lesson, he may entirely or in part forget the first : Such a mistake would be no credit to the instructor. As he has made so good progress, I would not urge the business too rapidly. Do not enlarge the number of cards oftener than once a day ; and let him be well acquainted with the object of your intention, before you take the step I am about to advise in the next Lesson.
Lesson 4.
Spread twelve cards on the floor, in a circular direction, four inches apart ; within this circle keep the Pig, and stand yourself. We will suppose you before an Assembly for the purpose of an exhibition ; therefore you must give up sitting, as that posture would be very singular as well as impolite. The Pig observing
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THE EXPOSITOR.
you in this unusual position, will be much embarrassed ; and not knowing the meaning, will seek to amuse himself by running in every direction about the room. You are not to beat him into the knowledge of your design, but coax him to it, if possible. If this will not keep him by your side, tie a string about his neck, and when he would exceed the bounds of the circle, check him, using a soft or loud tone of voice as occasion may require ; for every brute has instinct to decide betwixt approbation and displeasure. At the length of the string, he will learn to walk the circle with his nose to the cards ; and when he hears the signal before mentioned, will snatch at the card he shall then be opposite : Immediately step back, and he will follow with the same. Give him a small piece of bread as his reward, and by your approbation let him know he has done right ; for one misunderstanding at this critical juncture will be a great source of unnecessary trouble. He will soon readily run for the
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THE EXPOSITOR.
cards, making many mistakes, which you must have the patience to endure and correct with good nature. If he takes the wrong card, replace it immediately, and shew him the one you wanted. Much is to be done by raising and falling the tone of the voice. In four or five days you may venture to take the restraint from his neck ; and whenever he exceeds his limits, put it on. By practising in this manner, he will soon perfectly understand his business.
In my next I will give you a few more hints, which will no doubt complete your wishes, and your pupil will soon merit the title of the Pig of Knowledge.
I am, in reality,
what men call a Friend,
W. F. P.
p. s. You must not expect him to understand this Lesson in less than a fortnight.
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THE EXPOSITOR.
LETTER VII.
From A. B. to W. F. P.
Sir,
The fortnight has expired, and the Pig is completed. I have already exhibited him to a number of persons, men of ingenuity and talents, in whose judgment I can confide : They are astonished beyond description. None can account for the knowledge he apparently possesses, or discover the secret communication betwixt myself and the Pig. In fact, amongst the learned, I am thought a man of talents, whilst others less informed accuse me of the Black Art, and condemn me as a wizard. Shall I remonstrate with bigots ? Shall I patiently sit down, and earnestly detail to them the cause ? They would not believe me. No : I leave them to the enjoyment of their different reflections, and for my security and reward look to men of knowledge, whose approbation is more congenial to my feelings than the unbounded eclat of a barren multitude.
With every sentiment of respect,
I am, &c. A. B.
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THE EXPOSITOR.
LETTER VIII.
[In answer to the last]
From W. F. P. to A. B.
Sir,
You inform me that your Pig is complete, and that his performances have astonished numbers. I confess I am astonished myself at his so early completion. And has no discovery taken place ? Hath none detected the secret communication by which he is actuated ? What will you conclude, when I inform you that even that communication is unnecessary ? You may relinquish it by degrees ; for the animal is so sagacious, that he will appear to read your thoughts. The position you stand in, not meaning any stipulated place, or certain gesture, but what will naturally arise from your anxiety, will determine the card to your pupil. I will only add, that I have been as much amazed at the performance of this animal, as the spectators before whom I exhibited him. Of all other quadrupeds, the Pig in my opinion is the most sapient, though writers on Natural History say to the contrary, giving preference to the Elephant. Pope has bequeathed this animal
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THE EXPOSITOR.
half the reason of man : How far he merits this eulogium, I am not able to determine ; but of this I am convinced, that the race of Swine claim a greater share of instinct than belongs to the Dog or the Horse.
I am, with the greatest respect,
Yours sincerely,
W. F. P.
N. B. For further observations on this subject, see the Appendix, Letter V.
LETTER IX.
From A. B. to W F. P.
Sir,
After perusing your letter several times, and attentively considering its contents, I have with care and observation taken the steps you advised.
I find the Pig really the animal you described him. I have entirely omitted the signal by which be was taught ; and his penetrating nature, notwithstanding this omission, readily conceives my meaning. How am I to account for this miracle ? What you have already
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THE EXPOSITOR.
expressed upon the subject I shall not attempt to elucidate, but perfectly acquiesce with you in the estimation of his abilities.
But the Pig no longer excites admiration. There is a certain Philosophical Machine lately arrived from France, which engrosses universal attention. The admittance to visit this curiosity is fifty cents ; and people throng in crouds to view it. The Proprietors name it The Invisible Lady and Acoustic Temple ; and as I think it a subject worthy your attention, shall attempt to give a description of this wonder.
In the middle of a room is seen a railing in the form of an octagon, painted red : In the centre of this is suspended a square chest, whose circumference contains about twenty-four inches : Apparently isolated on this, is a dome supported by four small columns : A small glass globe, silvered, ornaments and caps the extreme convexity of this dome. From each corner of this chest proceeds a trumpet : To the concavity of either of these you may put a question, and a rational answer, in an effeminate tone of voice, will be immediately returned.
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THE EXPOSITOR.
Astonished, I placed my ear to the floor, to the walls, and even clambered to the ceiling to discover the agent to whom I attributed the answers : I listened, but distinguished no sound. Is it possible that the most ingenious of mankind could contrive a machine capable of giving rational answers ? No, I am convinced to the contrary : Neither has the proprietor any connexion with a familiar spirit. But on what principle these opaques are enabled to discourse, is the mystery I wish you to unriddle.
The Lady not only discourses, but has the faculty of seeing, singing and breathing ; all which I proved to be true. Presenting a piece of silver to the ball, the Lady directly determined its value, by informing the company the gentleman might pocket his four-pence-half-penny.
Pray, Sir, explain where is the agent so disposed, that he has the opportunity to see as well as to hear, yet not to be seen by any of the company, and heard from the chest only.
The more I ponder on this subject, the less I am enabled to explain the wonder. You, Sir, may be able to trace its hidden dependencies,
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THE EXPOSITOR.
and penetrate its mysterious principle. I am sensible of your knowledge, both as a mechanic and a philosopher. And your Writing Automaton, Magician, Speaking Figure, Penetrating Spy-Glass, Tumbling and Vaulting Figures, the result of your assiduous labours, have been the greatest ornaments to the Washington Museum.
And now, dear Sir, your exposition of this mysterious Temple will very much profit, edify and greatly amuse one in whom you may place entire confidence ; one that will never recede a step from a man, whose sincere friendship and unwearied efforts to oblige has been the making of,
Yours, &c. A. B.
LETTER X.
[In answer to Letter IX.]
From W. F. P. to A. B.
Sir,
The Temple of which you speak is no longer a mystery to me ; I have seen the same, and heard its responses, previous to the receipt of your ninth. My chief study is how
