Magrab, June Coleman

There’s a Pig Outside

1. The waiter in here has a concussion from coming
2. onto another guy’s woman  says she slipped him her number
3. nothing he asked for but her boyfriend hit him over the head with a
4. flashlight
5. knocked him out for thirty minutes and he looks bad today Sunday
6. and I say no wonder
7. I didn’t see you Friday when did it happen he says Thursday night
8. went to the hospital
9. the next day my neck hurt from when I hit concrete steps and I think
10. he really looks like shit
11. thought he’d been in a car crash and he goes on about the heavy
12. flashlight and all
13. I can think of is Carrot the pig eating frozen yogurt outside this
14. place
15. it’s not every day one meets a slab of bacon intact slopping and
16. burping off
17. a spoon so I ask the woman the pig’s with is it full-grown she says
18. he’s ten I comment on dry skin
19. looks like your pig has dry skin she says yes pigs are like that I ask what do
20. you do about it
21. she says whatever  any good lubricant  while I’m blown away because the big  she calls him
22. Carrot is snorting and grunting and I’m wondering what kind of a
23. mess he’d make but she says
24. he’s trained like a dog so I say what do you feed him besides yogurt she
25. says chow pig chow and
26. proceeds to have him sit stay shake a leg rewarding  him with a dog
27. biscuit so I say I’ve heard
28. pigs are good pets  she says I don’t recommend them and I wonder why
29. did she keep Carrot
30. all these years but guess it’s like any pet one’s responsible the
31. moment one says
32. look, look at that cute piglet and now she has a two-hundred-twenty-
33. pound pig
34. not hog hogs are fatter I read that in some article and I say I’m pretty
35. repulsed by your pig
36. she chuckles says she understands it’s like that whenever they come
37. to town for treats
38. and at that moment her girlfriend joins us drinking a cappuccino and
39. offers some to Carrot
40. the first woman says come on Babe you know Carrot doesn’t do well
41. on caffeine
42. and I’m thinking I’m pretty sophisticated but a big pig with sparse
43. black hair dry skin and tiny
44. hooves resembling high heeled shoes and some bozo with a
45. concussion knocked out  that pig
46. are just too much for one afternoon.